Suspicion of infidelity is an uncomfortable, insidious feeling that can make you act out in damaging ways. Sometimes, however, those suspicions turn out to be true, and that often leads to divorce.

National surveys show that 15% of women and 25% of men will cheat in their marriage. Whether you want to pursue reconciliation or divorce if your spouse is cheating, you need to be able to identify the infidelity first.

Hiding personal devices

If your spouse suddenly puts a password on their phone or tablet, they may be hiding messages that are establishing cheating. This can also occur in hidden email accounts, leaving the room to take a phone call, and deleting texts, emails, and browsing history. You can confirm this hiding behavior by asking to use their device to gauge their reaction.

Extended periods away from you

The more time your spouse is away from you, the more time they have to do other things. The classic excuse for needing alone time is work. You may either hear they need to start working later, or that they need to go on a work trip. They may also try to cut communication by remaining unavailable at that time by saying their phone was dead, they do not have a signal, or they are in a lengthy meeting.

Significant changes in your romantic life

There is no one form of change a cheating spouse may make to your intimate relationship. Some spouses may cut off all sex entirely, whereas others may increase the frequency. Others still may remain just as frequent, but start bringing new things to the bedroom that they may have learned elsewhere.

Emotional hostility

It is common for cheaters to lash out at their spouses. It is commonly explained that the cheating spouse feels guilty for their behavior at some level, and they try to villainize you to rationalize their cheating. This can come in the form of random outbursts over things that would not have bothered them in the past, or even accusing you of things you have not done.

Do not ignore the signs

People who cheat on their partners nearly always take steps to conceal their actions. This could be because they don’t want to hurt their spouse or they don’t want to risk divorce, or any number of reasons.